Archive for November, 2008
A Shitty Routine Sucks!
Note: This post was written 2 weeks ago. I think it is important that I let people know what I was going through a couple of weeks ago and essentially for the past 3-5 months.
Yesterday I was off because of Veteran’s Day. But this morning I woke up unconsciously to brush my teeth, wash my face, put on my clothes and shoes, grab my things that I set out the night before, and off I went for the 5 minute walk to my park and ride. Just like a fuckin zombie or the living dead. I know many people go through this same ritual for 5 days a week, but I am talking about me and how I felt throughout the whole day. The main reason why I feel this way is because of my current living situation. Not to go into details, but I have determined that my life will be 100% better if I got my own place and away from splitting bills and living space. Damn for the most part I live in my room and what does an amibitious maturing adult do when he is only living in his room being pissed about his situation? Move the fuck out! The next step for me is moving out, which is happening right now. Note: Looking at my video and now reading this blog post I now realize that it does sound like I am moving out of my parent’s place. This is actually splitting from my brother, which we got an apartment together in the beginning of the year.
So one might say after you move out you will develop a routine, one to your standards, but a system that will get old again. That may be true, but I don’t think so. Around this time last year when my brother and I were thinking of moving out, my dad told me, “that we have to be happy with my job and home life. If they are not in unison then my life will suffer all together.” My life right now is in a good spot; I have a good family that supports me, great girlfriend who understands and challenges me, I am keeping up with my writing on this site and slowly getting my own article samples written, professional career is going good, no real friends (I have about 3, this will be talked about later in another post), and in great physical shape. However, right now I live in a room, a place that is barely double the size of my cubicle. Again not going to go into details of my situation, but I’m making the right decision for myself and the other person I am trying to save the relationship with.
Routine, procedure, practice, pattern, drill, regimen, program, schedule, plan, method, system, customs, habits, typical, conventional, and the usual can drive people crazy.The shit is driving me bananas. We all do need some kind of routine. I think a system and spontaneity is a good balance between the same old shitty routine. I’ll let yall know how my life is shaping up after the move and when I get situated.
Chase Bank, Fuck you With your Meaningless Fees!
Story Mode
I’m pissed. I get off the bus, grab whatever info I have regarding the bank account, go to my car and make my way to the bank. I get out of the car and open the door. I then walk through the doors and wait in line for a banker on the floor.
“Mr. Atateh (pronaunced incorrectly), why do you want to close your account.”, the banker says.
Tags: Chase Bank, fees, losing money
Book Review: 11 Minutes
Quotes:
-“Passion makes a person stop eating, sleeping, working, feeling at peace. A lot of people are frightened because, when it appears, it demolishes all the old things it finds in its path.
No one wants their life thrown into chaos. That is why a lot of people keep that threat under control and are somehow capable of sustaining a house or a structure that is already rotten. They are the engineers of the superseded.
Other people think exactly the opposite: they surrender themselves without a second thought, hoping to find in passion the solutions to all their problems. They make the other person responsible for their happiness and blame them for their possible unhappiness. They are either euphoric because something marvelous has happened or depressed because something unexpected has just ruined everything.
Tags: 11 Minutes, Book Review, Paulo Coelho
I’m Moving Out!
I’m Out! from Oaks Real on Vimeo.
Tags: freedom, independence, own apartment
Getting Laid Off is a Blessing in Disguise
Story Mode
Life is good, life is great. Family doing well, have great friends, and my career is going in the right direction. I love going to work because I like to use my skills to better the human race. When I wake up in the morning I do my usual routine of washing my face, brushing my teeth, taking a shower, putting on my clothes, waking up my 10 year old son, getting the pot ready to make coffee, and turning on the television to check the traffic report. This process that I do for 5 days is mindless, I don’t really cheris my time much, I am always on the move to get to work at an early time to please the boss. I am scared and frighten of all of the people losing their jobs in this low performing economy. I know that after a hurricane and moving to a new building for work I have to do my best in the projects that I over. I have to get there earlier and stay late. I have convinced my husband to take the kids to school because his job is very secure. I have to kiss ass, I have to do more work then everyone else, and I have to work 3 hours extra without getting paid for it. I’m loosing my mind and I am not being honest with myself about what I really want to do with my life. All I see are bills; long hours at work; taking care of kids; going to church; and putting on a fake smile in front of friends, family, and co-workers. I’m so damn exhausted, I sleep like a baby on the weekends and then I repeat the same typical ordinary and habitual schedule. Again I’m not being completely honest with myself and I am blinded by the signs that will ultimately destroy my self-esteem for who knows how long.
The next day comes and I am back on my grind. My boss walks in with this sadden, but calculated face. I know something is up and I just hope that it isn’t me. I love my co-workers, but dammit it is survival of the fittest and I only care about if I am here another day. I look around the office, which is a sea of archipelagoes of white picnic tables with computer monitors and cpu’s. I also see empty boxes spread out and my only guess is that my stuff or somebody else’s belongings will fill them. They will be filled with shit that people used to do their jobs with pride and dignity.
I’m just waiting and hope to God that I’m not called in. My boss calls me in! As my boss was telling me that it wasn’t me and only the struggling economy that is making the company come to these measures; I stop listening and think of all of the signs that were in my face that I ignored, all of the other people that left and found a job that suited them more, and all of the fucken hours that I poured in this damn company for free to now be given the opportunity to fill this box with my job attachments in front of everyone. I stopped pity words coming from my boss’ mouth, got up, filled up that box, and left.
Reality
Words Can Indeed Describe What I Feel Inside
When I woke up this morning I was thrilled and ready to start my day. Of course I was happy with the outcome of the election, but I really did feel different. I talked to my co-workers, said hello to people in the hall way, and went on with my day working as I did any other day. I felt that I could conquer the world and by my own terms alone. I believe that is what this election has done for me as an American. Ever since I was a little kid growing up my mom always told me to be the very best in whatever I want to do in life. “Be the best teacher, the best garbage man out there, my mom would say. I never took that for granted and continued to move through the world with self-motivation and the will to challenge myself.
Listening to Barack Obama’s speech late last night and waking up in the morning my attitude about choices changed. A black man(I know that he is half white and was raised by a white family) is the elected president of the United States of America. Even though I personally can never be president of this great nation, the election still gives me even more motivation to make and exceed my goals and be a better human being. I think of myself as a very ambitious person and will do what needs to get done on whatever I set myself to do, but knowing that it is possible for a black man to be elected to the highest honor accomplishment is fuckin amazing.
I was talking to a friend earlier via email about Barack Obama, we got to talking about what this means for the rest of the Black American population. I instantly thought that we as black people can’t depend on Barack to come to our rescue when we need something (the government can only do so much), but we have to take responsibility in our lives; we can’t bitch and complain about somebody not treating us right (racism will always be here regardless of who is in the white house), we have to ignore all of those negative criticism, learn from the constructive assessment, and make the best of what we got and continue to improve individually; and we as Americans can come together to laugh alittle, play, compete at work and whatever else, and grow as we make a strong effort to be a great nation.
While I was riding the bus home from work I decided to read a blog post, from Mark Cuban. He was writing about the election and what he believes what will happen because of it. As I read each word I became more aware of what I have been feeling the whole day. I begun to realize that there is nothing that will stop me in doing what I want in life and that I will continue to motivate myself and to give other people that encouragement and do whatever they want in their lives.
Barack Thanks for Proving me Wrong. Now it’s Time to Change the World!
There once was a time when I was a young boy growing up in urban Houston, Tx. A friend and I were chilling one summer afternoon or sometime where there was light outside. The topic of the conversation switched to where I was born and who I could and couldn’t be in this country.
My friend Ben said, “You were born in Nigeria and there for can’t be President in the United States.”
I wasn’t pissed or mad about his comment, but without hesitation I told him, “You can’t either.”
Ben laughed…I laughed…and we went on discussing the only reason why it can’t be possible in his case to be President. We joked about it over the years and even told other people we knew of the same story I sit here telling you.
- @YEAdamMcFarland The full screen editor are badass, I get plenty done, but there shouldn't be a reason for so many choices. 12:37:20 PM November 13, 2009
